Identity
by Kathrine
Summary: Beast Wars S3, Pre-Proving Grounds.  She is a Predacon among the Maximals.  She knows who she is.


She is a Predacon. Even if she is a member of the Maximals that will never change. She is strong and independent and she looks out for herself, first and foremost. She doesn't _need_ anyone else; she would be just fine on her own. But, for now, it is convenient to spin her web near the Big Monkey's crew of misfits. It is convenient to lend them her claw in battle against her former allies. (But…maybe it's more than convenience that keeps her close to Rover. A little. Possibly.)

Sometimes she doesn't quite understand what someone like _him_ would see in someone like herself. He is disgustingly noble and kind and brave and all of those things she mocks. But he withstands her worst insults with a patient smile, somehow seeing something in her that no one else does. Sometimes it infuriates her. He is just so damn _smug_! (But really, she likes that about him. She knows that he knows that every abuse and every scoff towards him is an 'I love you'. He doesn't need it spelled out for him and that twines her spark closer with his on a level she never expected. She won't admit it, but even as she likes it, she fears it, too. Because the closer she gets to him, the less she wants to leave.)

It isn't that she can't live without him. (It's just that she doesn't really want to anymore.)

He used to frustrate her beyond belief. She doesn't _need_ protecting. She was doing just fine for herself before he came along, thank you very much. And sure, it's nice he has her back, but she is not some weak-willed damsel who goes offline at the sight of transfluid. But (slowly!) he is learning, and he treats her more as a partner than as a piece of glass. It seems you really _can_ teach an old dog new tricks, and this pleases her more than one-upping Grape-face himself. (How did he come to mean so much to her? She honestly can't remember when it started. But for the first time, there is someone other than herself who is important in her world. It scares her more than Mega-ego's firepower ever could.)

She's slowly getting used to having someone beside her who isn't constantly looking for chinks in her armor to expose. She wonders sometimes if she might be getting soft; all this easy living can't be good for her. So she pushes and prods, constantly seeing how far she can get before her new allies are ready to throw her out. (It seems to be the modus operandi around here, anyways; she's certainly not the _only_ one who enjoys pushing buttons. And it's kind of...cute...how ruffled and defensive Bowser gets when he's trying to be all noble and defend her honor when she pushes someone too far. Completely unnecessary, but she still kind of likes it.)

There are cycles when she wants to wash her claws of the lot of them and their stupid Maximal prejudice. She is tired of proving herself again and again. (Sometimes she wonders if the Lizard went through the same slag until he went offline. It would have been interesting to compare notes; if only he hadn't gone and done something so stupidly Maximal and died in a fit of noble heroics. She wonders if that might be her someday. It's a disgusting thought.)

She isn't stupid. She hears the whispers (and not-whispers from Certain Rats Who Will Not Be Named) regarding her trustworthiness and if it's really worth it to retain her. Surprisingly, it's not just Rover who stands up for her; the Tabby is constantly giving the others the rough side of his tongue in her defense, which is kind of (sweet) stupid, but he's like that. (She'd like it a lot better if he'd get over his ridiculous little crush, but she supposes it could be worse. There could be _two_ of him.)

And even if they make sly comments about her character, she knows that when it all comes down to it they need her. They need her cunning intellect, her superior agility, her wicked firepower…and Primus knows her gorgeous frame brightens up the dump they call a base, especially with some of the eyesores her new companions call 'bodies'. Really, they'd be even bigger fools than they already are to throw someone of her caliber in the scrap heap. (And even if she doesn't actually need _them_, if she is completely honest with herself – perish the thought, but it _does_ occasionally creep in – she kind of likes having them around too. Even the Rodent. At least life is never boring.)

She is a Predacon, but she is also herself. (And that is worth more than any programming. Anyone who thinks otherwise isn't worth her time.)


End file.
